BREAKING NEWS:
In a shocking event this morning, a man named Brandon was caught red-handed attempting to steal an entire soda machine from a local Hungry Jack’s restaurant. Witnesses say Brandon yelled, “I just wanted free refills forever!” before dragging the machine out the door.
Security footage shows the soda machine leaking everywhere as Brandon tried to load it into a shopping trolley. Police quickly arrived at the scene, cornering him behind the dumpster near the drive-thru.
Authorities described the situation as “sticky, fizzy, and completely ridiculous.”
According to the Bloxy City Court, Brandon is now facing execution next week for his “crimes against carbonation.” The judge reportedly said,
“Stealing burgers is one thing, but stealing soda machines? That’s a capital fizz-offense.”
Bloxy News will keep you updated as this absurd story continues to bubble up.
#BloxyNews #HungryJacksHeist #FizzCrime
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